- Union Jack top
- Lace top
- Black checkered bag
- White canvas tote bag
- Black boots
- Keyboard stickers
- Knee high socks
- Boots socks
- Gel cushion
- Baby breath seeds, soil, plant pot
- Treadmill
- DSLR cam
- Armchair
- Reading floor lamp
- Coffee table
- Sofa-bed frame
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Dysphoria
I've been a lil too emotional lately and I suspect it's due to PMS.
2 days ago, I helped this middle aged man to locate a patient.
This man, he works as a cleaner. He is sorta limping and doesn't have much strength.
The patient that he wanted to visit was merely someone whom he saw everyday and says hi to. Ya know, when people visits a patient, they would usually buy bouquet of flowers, balloon, chicken essence, bird nest etc.. but he bought the patient something so common, something which we drink everyday and takes it for granted - Milo.
Who the hell in the world would have appreciated Milo in normal circumstances?
Who would be thankful if they received a tin of milo and condensed milk as a get-well gift?
I would.
Because it's the thought that counts.
This old man here, he has so little yet he is willing to give so much.
He doesn't earn much but he managed to get something so practical yet thoughtful for his acquaintance.
The whole point of why I feel so strongly is because the value of a gift isn't determined by the price tag. It's the thought, the appreciation which you would feel when you know you actually matter.
Bad thing is, I can't find the patient even though I brought him up to the ward..
BUT he felt bad for holding me up cos' it was my lunch time.
He got me some puffs from the bakery shop near by.
I nearly wanted to cry.
This old man, he appreciated my act of kindness which I'm paid to do so.
I didn't helped him on accord of my true altruism. I did it because I was obliged to do so but he didn't see all these. He didn't see that this act of kindness was flawed.
He was glad, thankful that I helped even though I failed.
Normal (yes , I mean normal, angry, agitated) visitors would have cursed and swore at me by then but he didn't.
p/s: She is everything that you dreamed of.
Yes, she is EVERYTHING.
But what am I? Have you ever thought of what I am?
Am I really nothing at all?
2 days ago, I helped this middle aged man to locate a patient.
This man, he works as a cleaner. He is sorta limping and doesn't have much strength.
The patient that he wanted to visit was merely someone whom he saw everyday and says hi to. Ya know, when people visits a patient, they would usually buy bouquet of flowers, balloon, chicken essence, bird nest etc.. but he bought the patient something so common, something which we drink everyday and takes it for granted - Milo.
Who the hell in the world would have appreciated Milo in normal circumstances?
Who would be thankful if they received a tin of milo and condensed milk as a get-well gift?
I would.
Because it's the thought that counts.
This old man here, he has so little yet he is willing to give so much.
He doesn't earn much but he managed to get something so practical yet thoughtful for his acquaintance.
The whole point of why I feel so strongly is because the value of a gift isn't determined by the price tag. It's the thought, the appreciation which you would feel when you know you actually matter.
Bad thing is, I can't find the patient even though I brought him up to the ward..
BUT he felt bad for holding me up cos' it was my lunch time.
He got me some puffs from the bakery shop near by.
I nearly wanted to cry.
This old man, he appreciated my act of kindness which I'm paid to do so.
I didn't helped him on accord of my true altruism. I did it because I was obliged to do so but he didn't see all these. He didn't see that this act of kindness was flawed.
He was glad, thankful that I helped even though I failed.
Normal (yes , I mean normal, angry, agitated) visitors would have cursed and swore at me by then but he didn't.
p/s: She is everything that you dreamed of.
Yes, she is EVERYTHING.
But what am I? Have you ever thought of what I am?
Am I really nothing at all?
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Every Singaporean Son
I've always been interested in how the army works in Singapore and my coworker sent me a msg on FB asking me to youtube 'Every Singaporean Son'.
One of the most fascinating documentary I've ever seen, best next to the documentary of a north korean's life and assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
This video shows Kenneth who lost his gun's magazine (I still can't figure why it's called 'magazine') and he was frantic. He cried and said that he is willing to take any punishment if there's any. I was really surprised cos' he is known to be the 'joker' among them. Few days in camp and he is trained to be so professional and responsible already.. This really proved my statement that "guys went in as boys and came out as men".
One of the most fascinating documentary I've ever seen, best next to the documentary of a north korean's life and assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
This video shows Kenneth who lost his gun's magazine (I still can't figure why it's called 'magazine') and he was frantic. He cried and said that he is willing to take any punishment if there's any. I was really surprised cos' he is known to be the 'joker' among them. Few days in camp and he is trained to be so professional and responsible already.. This really proved my statement that "guys went in as boys and came out as men".
Sunday, November 14, 2010
I'm a loser in love
Today my co-worker abruptly asked me a question which he already long knew the answer. It's a question related to the matters of heart.
He said : "I'm just curious, but you really never had a bf before?"
I replied : "Yup, I thought it's already a known fact?"
He in return, replied : "You told me before that the guys you liked never like you back and you dislike those who likes you."
Sad thing is, that is the truth.
I went on telling him about this guy whom I LIKED for 5 whole fucking years but never once noticed me. I watched him change girlfriends after girlfriends and I still can remember their names. My coworker then told me that I'm overly jealous.
Ironically, I agree and disagree at the same time. Yes, I can be insanely jealous at times but No, I don't feel jealous of those girls. I feel envious instead. I never once dreamed of being with him, I just quietly watched him from aside, and for me, that was enough. Yes, there were times when I expected more and it made me so disappointed till I break down and cry. I can't help feeling that way either, it's just human nature to feel sore when you can't get something which you really like.
That person whom I like, never once told me that I'm ugly when his friends thought so. He is the most caring person , warm at heart even though he seemed really cool on the outside.
Humans are weird creatures. Those who seem cold on the outside actually have much more capability to give you warmth. Whereas those who seem warm hearted on the outside can be so much harder to understand,especially their intentions.
Ya know, you thought you were all healed. You thought you have already forgotten everything, let go of everything but somehow, something as tiny and harmless like a reminder, a question, teasing, can just pull you back into misery and reality.
Funny thing is, no matter how long I've been beside him, he just doesn't notice me. I'm just that invisible.
Don't ask me why I didn't try hard enough.
Because I never had the balls to confess , scare the shit outta him and screw things up.
Because I'm certain that I'm just one outta those many girls who passed by and never managed to stay.
Because I don't need any of this to ruin our friendship.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk.
There was once when our friend teased us and he said "I'm not good enough.She can find better guys. " Like wtf is this reasoning? I thought there is no inequality in love at all? You love someone for whom he/she is and not because for whom he/she isn't.
And to those superficial guys who gave up after trying 2~3 times, all I can say is that you can find better looking, smarter, submissive, money minded, easy girls out there. No point trying at all, cos' I like the chase, I like choosing whom I should like.
And lastly, YES, I admit that I'm a loser in love. Never once won a battle, or rather, never once intended to fight any battles cos' I'm too afraid of losing.
"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel."
P/S: : It feels so great to let everything out after like.. 6 years??????
I feel sorta relieved now, as though I took a load off my chest.
P/P/S: This is the exact same situation which is happening now. I mean, the most recent guy whom I LIKED. But seriously, Imma stop torturing myself, Imma let go of everything and just let it be.
He said : "I'm just curious, but you really never had a bf before?"
I replied : "Yup, I thought it's already a known fact?"
He in return, replied : "You told me before that the guys you liked never like you back and you dislike those who likes you."
Sad thing is, that is the truth.
I went on telling him about this guy whom I LIKED for 5 whole fucking years but never once noticed me. I watched him change girlfriends after girlfriends and I still can remember their names. My coworker then told me that I'm overly jealous.
Ironically, I agree and disagree at the same time. Yes, I can be insanely jealous at times but No, I don't feel jealous of those girls. I feel envious instead. I never once dreamed of being with him, I just quietly watched him from aside, and for me, that was enough. Yes, there were times when I expected more and it made me so disappointed till I break down and cry. I can't help feeling that way either, it's just human nature to feel sore when you can't get something which you really like.
That person whom I like, never once told me that I'm ugly when his friends thought so. He is the most caring person , warm at heart even though he seemed really cool on the outside.
Humans are weird creatures. Those who seem cold on the outside actually have much more capability to give you warmth. Whereas those who seem warm hearted on the outside can be so much harder to understand,especially their intentions.
Ya know, you thought you were all healed. You thought you have already forgotten everything, let go of everything but somehow, something as tiny and harmless like a reminder, a question, teasing, can just pull you back into misery and reality.
Funny thing is, no matter how long I've been beside him, he just doesn't notice me. I'm just that invisible.
Don't ask me why I didn't try hard enough.
Because I never had the balls to confess , scare the shit outta him and screw things up.
Because I'm certain that I'm just one outta those many girls who passed by and never managed to stay.
Because I don't need any of this to ruin our friendship.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk.
There was once when our friend teased us and he said "I'm not good enough.She can find better guys. " Like wtf is this reasoning? I thought there is no inequality in love at all? You love someone for whom he/she is and not because for whom he/she isn't.
And to those superficial guys who gave up after trying 2~3 times, all I can say is that you can find better looking, smarter, submissive, money minded, easy girls out there. No point trying at all, cos' I like the chase, I like choosing whom I should like.
And lastly, YES, I admit that I'm a loser in love. Never once won a battle, or rather, never once intended to fight any battles cos' I'm too afraid of losing.
"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel."
P/S: : It feels so great to let everything out after like.. 6 years??????
I feel sorta relieved now, as though I took a load off my chest.
P/P/S: This is the exact same situation which is happening now. I mean, the most recent guy whom I LIKED. But seriously, Imma stop torturing myself, Imma let go of everything and just let it be.
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