BORED

Fulfilling day

1) today was hella busy. Had 2 interviews, then I went to Starbucks to grab a frappé. Cheese bagel ain't available (just when I'm craving for it) Then I went for Teresa's graduation event which happens to be a psychology motivational talk. Then I went to watch 'The Green Hornet'.

2) The talk was really fun! Went around meeting new people. That speaker dude talked about Sigmund Freud's Id, ego, superego, unconscious mind etc. We discussed about our opposite gender's traits. It gave me the urge to go back to study Psychology again.

3) GV Gold Class is really high class. Seats were damn spacious and comfy. Quite similar to business class airline seats. The loo is of a 6 stars hotel's standard. The service staffs are really polite and their attire looked smart. All these for the price of $36.

4) I used to think Jay Chou is overrated but after watching the movie, my opinion of him changed. I still don't think highly of him but at least he is average to me now.

5) Jay Chou's english gave me major headaches. I was tryna figure out what he's saying then I thought I could read the subtitles but alas, it's mando and it will take ages for me to finish reading a sentence (that's too much efforts and needs lotsa concentration)

6) Smoked at least 4 sticks of ciggs. It sucks to have smoker friends who smoke every 30 mins - 60 mins. Especially when they offer you everytime they smoke and you have no willpower to reject cos' you're a real sucker for ciggs and you have been clean for 21 days and the urge is back and you're not insane enough to say 'no'. Just tryna justify myself, period.

7) Learnt about the reason why she ran away without contacting us after she cheated us of our $$. She asked me to lie to the cabbie that I've no cash / atm cards with me and I'm renting an apartment so there's no way that I can get money from my folks. It took me so much effort to convince her that is not the way how things work. The cabbie worked hard during the night to earn , he deserves his hard earned money. It is our fault for going home late during ungodly hours thus having to pay twice the fare. That she is a mom and she has to be responsible, she can't be teaching her daughter the wrong things.
She told me that she'd rather spend the money on other things. The thing is, I wish I could spend it on other things instead too. Such as food, I'm such a glutton, you think I'd rather spend the $ on cab fares instead of food? You think I don't feel the pinch? I'm not gonna do something which I think is morally wrong. My conscience bugs me, especially when I have nothing and held on tightly to the beliefs of integrity.
Is that the reason why she cheated us of our money? Because she isn't responsible and she'd rather spend the money that should be used to pay her debts on something else? Because it never once bug her or makes her feel guilty?

I'm utterly disappointed.. I thought she have already changed. I thought her punishments were enough, infact overwhelmingly depressing. But the truth is, a leopard can never changes its spots. They can only hide it momentarily to mask the truth.

8) I'm actually quite vexed right now. Should I make a clean break? But I know I can't.. I chose to meet her in the first place despite knowing what it's gonna be like. I'm a black-or-white person - it's either I forget about the debt or went on pursuing it. I chose the former cos' the latter is gonna take up so much more effort. Now I know I can turn away from her. I don't like what she is doing, I can't respect what her decisions are because they are foolish , irrational and morally incorrect but I can't change her perspectives either.

9) I'm gonna help out at my mom's tmr. It has been 2 days since I last help her out.

10) Hopefully, I can go starbucks and revise btt and get prep-ed for BTT trial test on Saturday and I hope to go clubbing in the night. Sunday's afternoon = BTT TRIAL TEST.

PEACE OUT.

random facts/thoughts

1) I'm afraid of supernatural things. That's why I still sleep with my mom till this age.

2) I'm afraid of insects in every lil ways. They might crawl into your ears and make you deaf. They might fly into your nostrils or bite you. Especially insects with wings. THEY ARE CREEPY.

3) I discovered that I have Acrophobia when I was 14. I am extremely afraid of heights and broke down while abseiling during a camp.

4) I have an inferiority complex because of my height. Some dude asked me to watch him jerk off and we exchanged a few insults, me saying that girls from his country are pretentious bitches who went for so many plastic surgeries cos' they are cheap and fugly and would watch him cum. He in return, said that I'm a midget standing at 5'3 short and I can never get plastic surgery to make me grow taller. FML. He's right. You can get plastic surgery for your features, your ass, boobs, gums but not height.

5) Believe it or not, girls are cunning creatures no matter how kind they looked. Trust me on this ;)

6) I'm sensitive to voices and smells. I can recognize singers's singing voices and describe a smell. I get really disturbed when I smell something unpleasant (leather, burnt plastic smell, chemical lemon laundry smell etc)

7) I'm agnostic. I get really irritated when someone (religious/ holy freaks) attribute every fucking things to god. Like 'oh god made me fall cos' I was bad.' 'Thanks god for making the weather clear today so I can hang my laundry' 'Today is Friday, so no meat, just fish for lunch.' 'I live for Jesus.'

They are just fucking irresponsible fucktards who push everything to god. To be honest, they don't love god. They just couldn't find a reason for shitty things that happened to them and attribute it to god. Easy, isn't it. Besides there are soooo many religions in the world, so does that mean that all the gods exist? If they really do, who is the god among all gods? If god created EVERYTHING, then who created god? You get what I mean?

Here I Am - 4Men ft. Mi

Here I am 여기 Here I am
Here I am 내가 여기에 여기 있는데

Here I am 지금 Here I am
Here I am 지금 여기에 내가 있는데

날 다 줘도 모자라
날 버려도 모자라
내가 널 얼마만큼 사랑하는지를
모를 거야 아마 넌 Here I am

Here I am 여기 Here I am
Here I am 내가 여기에 여기 있는데

날 다 줘도 모자라
날 버려도 모자라
내가 널 얼마만큼 사랑하는지를
같은 자리에서 널 기다릴게

날 욕해도 괜찮아
날 버려도 괜찮아
내가 널 얼마만큼 사랑하는지를
모를 거야 아마 넌 Here I am

모를 거야 아마 넌 Here I am

Few seconds leap to 2011

NYE celebration wasn't as great as what I expected it to be.

Initially it was quite okay when we were in the car listening to YG Family's songs. Love all of the songs especially 2NE1'S ^^

Clubbing this time wasn't a nice experience though. We went there and the queue was goddamn long all the way till the taxi stand thank god we managed to skip the queue.

It was seriously goddamn packed and we were like tunas. The entrance was packed with other clubbers, can't even stand properly in the crowd, literally leaned on them. You know like molecules in solid? The crowd was that dense.

Rebel is relatively small compared to powerhouse. Music played wasn't really appealing too..

AND WE HAD TO PAY $38 to get in. OMFG. that's like 1 month's supply of diet coke........

Some embarassing moments which I can't forget (gosh, seems like this memory is gonna follow me for the whole of 2011).. not exactly the best way to start a new year.

I was dancing (or at least I thought so) and I suddenly felt really giddy, really really exhausted and weak. Everything seems to be jerky, like I turned to my right and saw Jes.. that image was as though a broken record playing, it literally skipped some of the part, simply imagine a cloud passing by. Then I turned to my left and saw Rabia, all I could remember was that I felt really goddamn tired and giddy and I regretted being there, I just wanna sleep. Next thing I know, Jes was waking me up 'Eh, you okay or not??' and I woke up still subconscious and replied 'Eh...?' She asked me what happened and I told her 'I fell asleep' I squatted down cos' I was still giddy and sweating profusely. It suddenly became warm god knows why. Those clubbers surrounding me were practically staring at me. FUCKKKK. wish I could just disappear at that moment man. I asked Jes what happened and she told me that I suddenly closed my eyes and went limp. It took me a few minutes to realize that I actually passed out. OMFG.

AND I puked twice. Vomited all over my calves. Not cool seriously. After struggling to stand up and walk around to find a loo, I puked again. That feeling was awful man. My stomach hurts so much when the nauseous wave hit me. Throat hurts so much from the strain and stomach acid. My nose can smell my own vomit cos' some gushed out from my nostrils. FML. I spoiled the fun for everyone T^T I swear the next time, I won't drink a single bit of alcohol.

My body just can't take alcohol. I have low BP, low iron level and alcohol doesn't help cos' it dilates the blood vessels and dehydrates you which make the blood flow slower. When blood can't get pumped quickly enough to the brain, I just feel friggin' giddy. SCREW MY NYE CELEBRATION MAN.

Goodbye 2010, Hullo 2011

2010 as I believe, was the worst year in my entire life. It was all crazy. I graduated with a specialist diploma in Psychology, wanted to take a break from studies (well, exams and assignments actually). I was jobless for 3 whole months, nearly 4 months cos' work commenced on March 29th, 2010.
It was supposed to be a 3 month contract but I stayed on for 10 whole friggin' months. For the initial 3 months, work was fun cos I've yet to encounter any nasty visitors and my coworkers were nothing but fun. BUT, everything changed. Most of those fun people quitted and shit started to happen.Met nasty visitors whom I simply can't comprehend. Like..I just kept wondering 'Why are they like this?' always tryna find a reason that could actually attribute their atrocious behavior but sadly I found none so I just categorize/describe them as 'Incomprehensible'.

I went for several interviews but was never shortlisted. I pondered and I realized I was lacking of enthusiasm cos' those jobs that I applied for has got nothing to do with my course of study - Psychology. I was never really interested in anything else except fashion, photography, music, food, reading but to be honest, all these interests can't get me anywhere. Interviewer always ask the same question 'Why did you apply for this job?' and I don't wanna sound pathetic by answering 'Cos' I can't find any other jobs and I'm desperately in need of leaving that hellhole.' so I always lied 'I want a change of environment.' which wasn't really impressive at all.

Finally I've decided to let everything go. Fuck that man. I'd rather stay at home and be a jobless person whom got nagged by her mom everyday than to continue working and be a slave of demoralization. To hell with customer service man. I ain't gonna sacrifices my own ego/dignity/happiness in exchange of approval from others. I'm glad that I left that hellhole and I'll never look back.

Well, 2011 is definitely gonna be a better year. I just can sense it ;)
Here are some resolutions :
Imma find a new job.
Imma get my canon 60d baby.
Imma shed off all the weight that I gained while working (ate too much chocolate, depended on it to make me happy)
Imma get my driving license.
Imma get fit, learn muay thai, dancing and buy a new treadmill.
Imma study korean.
Imma get lotsa furnitures.
Imma pamper my babies (i'm referring to my darlin' shoes) and get them a HUGE ASS shoes shelf.
Imma decorate/tidy my bedroom so that it will look like those white european styled bedroom.
Imma plant babybreath, my favorite plant ever (well, next to clover).


.
2011, I'm all ready to take you on! :)