JG : " Let me be irrational until end of this month and after that I'm getting back on my feet again. "

Guess what? I'm sharing the same sentiments as you but to be honest, I'm not confident that I can do this as well as you.

You told me the exact same thing that I told my friend.

" Find another target ; that is the only way. Convince yourself that another person is better than him, that he is not indispensable. "

We think alike seriously. But I know we will eventually act in the same manner.
We will give up trying so hard , stop giving ourselves a time limit, stop lying to ourselves, stop preventing ourselves to fall deeper, stop acting the way our mind tells us to do so and give in to our hearts. Cos' we both know that we are doomed to fail. We are clearly aware that we are merely nothing but weaklings.

Leave in peace , my persona.
You ought to take a back seat now.